going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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