I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
