Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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