and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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