Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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