That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
