My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
