careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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