i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
you would pick up someone in the library
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
