guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
