tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
The power of my boobs compel you
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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