the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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