i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
