please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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