I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
