After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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