My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
