I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
