my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
