It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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