First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
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