And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
