i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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