we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
