can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
