two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
