She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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