There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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