I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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