You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
