so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
