im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
