ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
