So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
