office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
