Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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