FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
