Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Randomize
