Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
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