I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Randomize
