great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
