I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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