Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
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