put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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