isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
