U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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