I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize