okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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