That's when you crack a 10am beer
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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