3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
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