You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
The power of my boobs compel you
Randomize
