If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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