Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
