Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
