So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Best friends brother. Beat that.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
