When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
